Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Happy Halloween/Happy Birthday 95 Theses Charlie Brown!

In honor of this very momentous occasion, I present my Halloween Costume.  Here's a close-up:

I'm not sure if the 47th one will shock you. This person ranked the theses, you can see if you agree. It seems pretty shocking if you've already bought an indulgence. So far, I haven't had any trouble with this costume, just trying to move, drink, and dance with it on. Luckily I haven't run into anyone dressed as Ignatius J. Reilly.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

I Wrote a Spoof

To the tune of "I Pity the Poor Immigrant"

I pity the poor president
Who wishes he would've stayed home
Who uses all his power to do evil
But in the end is always left so alone
That man whose tiny fingers cheats
And who lies with every breath
Who passionately hates his wife
And likewise, loves immigrants’ death

I pity the poor president
Who does nothing but complain
Whose chief enemy is poor ratings
Whose tweets are insane
Who rules but is not satisfied
Who fears and is never free
Who goes to fight with truth itself
And breaks the law with glee

I pity the poor president
Who drags us through the mud
Who steals and golfs while laughing
And who covers other lands in blood
Whose rule in the final end
Must shatter like the glass
I pity the poor president
When our judgment comes to pass

Saturday, October 14, 2017

The Real Reason Hillary Lost

Guys, pack it up. No more articles, books, or think pieces. This is the real deal:

It wasn't Comey and it wasn't Putin that stopped her. It was the ghost of Oliver Cromwell!At least I think it was Oliver and not that Cromwell.